Meet Frank, The Objective Observer

The Magnificent Power of the Objective Observer.

I have found a great source of power, the lovely liberator who set me free of the shackles of my greatest oppressor- the mental mind.

That wildly fast and brilliant brain, so vigilant, so hyper, so focused. Diligent to perform his duties with determination, clear of his objectives. My Mental Mind is great at pattern recognition and an MVP at overthinking.

The habanero spiciness of my Virgo dominant mental mind rubs against the tenderness of my double-Libra heart- I feel everything, times ten. My empathy dials are set so high, and I had so little of my life to discover and define the foundation of my identity to serve as a boundary between the them, and the me. That means, when I spend time around others, I sometimes internalize their energy and have a difficult time not taking things personally. Because I don’t always know where I end and they begin. So I take on shit that isn’t mine to take.

Or, at least I did. Before I found the Magnificent Power of the Objective Observer.

Becoming the objective observer is something I learned through hypnotherapy and through the spiritual school I’ve been a disciple of this year. It’s a process of inviting your mind, the mental processor, the conscious version of you, to step aside and allow access to the subconscious. The mental mind stays present, capable of engaging or self-advocating if necessary, but by inviting the mental mind to observe objectively and without judgement, I can evaluate the inner workings beyond the scope of the mental mind.

The mental mind is a wonderful tool. It’s wildly useful for many applications, and as a highly intelligent, philosophical woman, I love my brain (most of the time)… But, as great as the mental mind is, it is also limited in it’s offerings. Its primary function is to operate and react at record speed, based on information stored in your subconscious and it does a great job of this.

But what if the information that was stored in your subconscious is comprised of old data? What if your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, even the parts of your personality that you identify as “self” are set on an antiquated foundation? It stands to reason that if the subconscious that acts as the underlying program is running on outdated software, then the automated response network system might be faulty. Maybe you need an update.

The mental mind is also really great at proving you “right”, it will protect your thoughts, beliefs, and justify your actions with profound conviction, regardless of whether they are objectively true. It doesn’t care about objective truth, its primary focus is keeping you safe and alive. It doesn’t care if you are completely and absolutely wrong. Despite its automated nature, it doesn’t automatically self-adjust as the situation changes. Thus, it can get stuck, running on outdated information.

This outdated information is comprised of three things: limited beliefs, stored emotions, and survival strategies.

Emotions demand expression, but what happens when it is not safe or appropriate to express your feelings? We suppress them. We store them away within us and negative suppressed emotions become stress, which can lead to depression (the opposite of expression), physical and mental health issues, and adverse life experiences. These pain points can be seen as useful tools, helpful reminders of work that requires our attention.

Leading us back to what my wonderful mentor, Paul Aurand refers to as the big three: Limited beliefs, stored emotions, and survival strategies. Have you ever thought, I don’t know why I always…? Or, For some reason, whenever this happens, I…? These are indicators that something within you is calling out for attention. How do you answer that call? How do you draw the line from what you are currently experiencing to why you behave, think, or feel in a way that you don’t fully understand?

When you were mentally and spiritually developing, before puberty, you had a series of impactful experiences that helped formed your subconscious’ operating system. The formula (for everyone) goes as such:

1. Something happens and you have a reaction (could be emotional, physical, or both)…

2. Your brain seeks out information to contextualize and store the “lesson” or event. In a healthy scenario, your support system aids with this process by providing context and emotional support or information to help you process the event.

3. In this case, when you can properly express the reaction/emotion, seek out beneficial information  (context) to respond to any future event like this, the brain develops properly by writing a healthy and appropriate survival strategy code. The event is benign and the child grows in a healthy manner.

However, in less supportive environments or in cases when these factors are not available options what happens looks more like this:

1. Something happens and you have a reaction (could be emotional, physical, or both)…

2. Your brain seeks out information to contextualize and store the “lesson” or event. Because there is no healthy source of information, the child is left to write a story about what happened by filling in the blanks. Children are notoriously imaginative and great story tellers, and the story they write to contextualize their suppressed emotions is necessary to keep them safe in that environment in that specific point in time. So, the story determines the survival strategy.

3. The survival strategy is the code that is enacted by the defense mechanism that is triggered by any emotion that reminds them of the initial sensitizing event (catalyst event in #1).

If the story is based on limited information, outdated scenarios, or the imagination of a child who hasn’t been given the same context you currently have, then the survival strategies that go off like automatic responses might not be beneficial.

So, then how can you evolve into finding a better operating mechanism (without years of psychoanalysis or dedicating your entire life to spiritual teachings)? How do you override or re-write the automatic responses that no longer serve you?

By the Magnificent Power of the Objective Observer.

I named mine Frank and I imagine him like a big cartoon brain with oversized glasses, dressed like the Pink Panther. He has a notepad and pen, which he keeps in the pocket of his trench coat. His job now, is to be the objective observer. To watch and take note of the happenings around me, feelings, social interactions, information, etc. He doesn’t need to be hyper-vigilant, in fact, his over-zealous nature doesn’t serve us right now while he is the watchful, objective observer.

This invitation extended to Frank, the mental mind, allows me to sit with uncomfortable feelings long enough to quiet my catastrophic thinking, my long scroll of pattern-recognition seeking information doesn’t need to roll out to convince me of old story lines and narratives that only serve as a perceived threat, and by allowing the mental mind to take notes, I can engage with the soul.

With the subconscious parts of me, the most authentic version of self. The part of me that existed before the “thing” happened. The rawest, truest form of me that wants what I truly want. In this place, in the safety of an environment made by me and for me, I can check in with Wisdom and seek answers to questions I ask myself…

Like, why do I feel like this right now? When was the last time I felt like this? And where does this originate?

Following the fruit of the current situation to the root of its cause and exploring if this works for me still?

It’s that simple. Simple work, but not easy. It requires consistency, humility, and the willingness to ask hard questions with an authentic willingness to hear the answers, even if they make us uncomfortable.

Meet Frank, my objective observer (art by Alice Teller (me).